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The Walking Dead Wiki: Whodunit?/Issue 4
Issue 4 of The Walking Dead Wiki: Whodunit?. Published on April 15, 2014. Last Issue: Issue 3 - Next Issue Issue 5 Plot Synopsis Hippo: That is…a great idea, Tommy. Let me guess: you got it from ToS? Tommy: You bet your sweet ass I did. Juan: Hey! Foi minha ideia seu brasileiro de merda! Tommy: Whoops…yeah, it was Juan’s idea. I am his advocate so I speak for him. (PLOT HOLE JUAN UNDERSTOOD ENGLISH) Hippo: I see…so, where abouts is that PR system, and where are the monitors for the video cameras? Tommy: I’ll show you. Its in the KITCHEN. Come this way, bring your niglet over too. Hippo: My WHAT? Tommy: Your niglet. That thing. Tommy points at Derk. Derk: Oh hell naw. Tommy: Juan, vigie o enforcamento. Make sure Grave gets it. Tommy, Hippo, and Derk leave the DINING ROOM and enter the KITCHEN. Suddenly, Katie returns. Lee and Juan set Grave up to be hanged. Katie stands next to Ghost and Kaley. Ghost: Katie…you’ve been gone for a while. Katie: What of it? Kaley: Well there is a murderer running around...its one of us. Katie: Are you implying that it’s me you little slutcake? Kaley: Yes, yes I am. Ghost: Well, everyone is here besides Naruto and Cam. I wouldn’t call Katie the only suspect. Sidney: Woah, Katie. Stop snapping at my gurl you fucking punk. I bet you are the killer. Katie: Fuck this shit, I bet its Braley over here. The power couple are tag teaming it. Lee: CAN YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP WE ARE TRYING TO HANG SOMEONE OVER HERE Ghost, Kaley, Katie, and Sidney face Lee and Juan who are about to hang Grave. Grave slips out of the noose. Lee: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK…give us a moment. Boo’s from the crowd happen. Ghost throws his drink at Lee, Katie throws her dildo, and Sidney throws her jockstrap. Kaley: Ew. Ghost: So, Katie, where were you anyway? Katie: I was in that black hallway. The Masta Bedroom comes off of there. I took Triple A in there and had some fun. Ghost: A bed? Katie: Yes. Ghost: Daryl has a good relationship with his penis and his ass…so do I. Ghost gives a seductive look to Kaley. The look makes Kaley piss herself. Lee also pisses himself over Ghost’s look. Lee: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. SHERLOCK HOLMES DOESN’T FUCKING PISS HIS PANTS WHEN HES ABOUT TO CATCH A KILLER. JUAN, YOU’RE IN CONTROL NOW. Lee runs off to change his pants. Ghost grabs Kaley and they start walking out of the Masta hallway en route to the Black hallway. (porn music) Sidney: So, Katie. It’s just me, you, Grave and Juan now. Katie: Yeah, Juan isn’t much help. I’ll take over the lynching. Katie throws Juan off the table and stands next to Grave, who is now successfully tied in the noose. Katie: GRAAAAAVE FUCKING LORD!!! What is your defense? Grave: Uhh…I… Grave begins to have another seizure, because he is a scaredy-cat son of a bitch. Katie unhooks him from the noose, and lowers him to the floor so Sidney can look at him. Grave then jumps back up, and makes a run for it. He successfully escapes the room. Katie: Well, shit. Sidney: What the fuck do we do, now? Katie: Well I’m all in the mood, I’m not leaving until we lynch someone. At the same time, Sidney and Katie look over at Juan. Katie: You thinking what I’m thinking? Sidney: You bet your ass I am. ---- Ghost: Okay, Kaley. If you think you’re so smart, you get us to the fucking bedroom. Kaley: I fucking will. I don’t believe I’m dating a solid 4/10. Ghost and Kaley start bickering. Ghost: GREAT. NOW WE’RE LOST. Kaley: No, fuckface, this is the black hallway. If that ones the Masta hallway, that ones the Lincoln hallway, then THIS IS THE FUCKING BLACK HALLWAY. Ghost: How the fuck do you know? Kaley: ITS FUCKING BLACK! Ghost: MRS ADMIN FUCKS KIDS FUCK YOU! SKEET SKEET SKEET! SQUADALA Kaley finds a door in the Masta hallway. She opens it, and her and Ghost go inside. Ghost turns on the lights, and they are shocked by the sight. Ghost: Wow! This CELLAR is perfectly clean! I bet nobody was murdered in here! Kaley: Ditto! Ghost: You still mad at me tho? Kaley: No, how could I be? Lets go have sex! Ghost: Okay! I bet the other door was the bedroom! Leggo! Ghost and Kaley leave the room. The two fucking idiots surprisingly didn’t notice some three bloody jars on a ledge next to the door, marked #1, #2, and #3. Cam’s freshly severed head can be seen in #3. Fucking idiots. ---- Katie: JUAN MASETA, WHAT IS YOUR DEFENCE? Juan: Por favor, não me mate! Eu imploro! Seus psicopatas malditos! Sidney: LYNCH HIM! LYNCH HIM! Katie: Your fate has been decided, Juan Maseta. Any last words? Juan: Você todos são doidos da cabeça. Sidney hops up onto the table and joins Katie in lynching Juan, killing him in the middle of the DINING ROOM. Katie: This was fun. I promise I’m not the killer, though… Sidney: Same… ---- Tommy walks Hippo and Derk over to the kitchen, where the monitors can be seen. Tommy: So yeah, it only covers the Andrew Lincoln hallway. We all left our stuff up there in the hall, you can see our briefcases there. Derk: Cool. This could be very useful into finding the killer. Even though the killer is quite clearly Grave...but, y'knever know. After this lynching there could still be a killer running around...maybe Grave was innocent for killing Masta after all. Tommy: Well, if I find this broken soon, I will know that it’s one of you. Derk: Lulno Hippo: Well, we know we didn’t do it, so we would know that the killer is you, and you’re trying to frame us. Tommy: Smart thinking. Psycho serial killers are known for being very intelligent. Derk: Da fug is dat… Derk points at one of the monitors. Hippo and Tommy look, and their jaws drop. Hippo: No…it cant be… Tommy: It’s him… I don’t believe it, it’s him. Derk: Lee is the Guinness Book of World Records holder for man’s largest penis! On the monitor, a fucking pissed off Lee can be seen, running down the hallway looking for his suitcase, wearing no pants. He is holding his soiled whitey tighties in one hand, and is waving them around everywhere like he just don’t care. Lee seems a bit mad, tho. Lee: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Credits *Grave *Hippo *Derk *Sidney *Katie *Kaley *Ghost *Juan *Lee *Tommy *Cam (Corpse) *Masta (Mentioned) Deaths *Juan (Lynched in the dining room) Trivia *Last appearance of Juan. *This is the first (and will be the only) issue in which the killer does not appear. **This is also the second instance of when someone dies and the killer didn't cause it. Category:Masta Category:Whodunit? Issues